Keepsakes have been a part of my daily life for as long as I can remember – unique and personal things, useful items, gifts, and mementos of places and times shared with those I love. Objects that link me to my people – the living and the dead.
Throughout our home and among my possessions are gifts from Kissie from over the years; reminders of seasons and personal passages, their emotional resonance even stronger since her death. And then of course there are all of her personal belongings – things she delighted in and enjoyed, gifts from family and friends, and familiar and favorite comforts from her homes that have become even dearer reminders of our shared existence – strengthening memory, and perpetuating our history and relationship.
In the vocabulary of bereavement, a “linking object” is a thing or experience that connects us to our deceased loved one. An experience might be a favorite movie or book, a song, a smell, a special place, or a preference our loved one had. I have 51 years of such experiences with Kissie – a personal and cultural heritage with countless tendrils of connection. Lucky us.
Now, just 21 months since her death, nearly all her worldly possessions feel significant to me. Because we have a large and close family, and many friends, her numerous things are shared, practically utilized, and treasured among us.
Many things will doubtless remain cherished keepsakes, and others, with time, will become necessary, and easier, to part with. Some already have been donated in her name to causes and organizations close to her heart. Some will be passed on to younger family members. I have chosen to honor and respect my intuitive promptings to keep those things of hers I feel particularly drawn to and especially connected with.
“Linking objects provide vital connections to our loved ones as we reconstruct our relationship to them.” – J. Worth Kilcrease
2 thoughts on “Linking Objects”
I truly connected with your words, Mary. Each day, I put on my sister’s wedding band along with my own. I look at it throughout the day and think of her and am comforted.
Although we had lived hundreds of miles apart, we had chosed the same ring- hers in yellow gold, mine in white gold, yet identical style of stones and design. The discovery of this was amazing to me. She had an elaborate wedding set that she often wore, but her original band was the simpler one I discovered among her belongings after her passing.
Her ring is a little big on my finger, but it’s such a symbol of her…always bigger than life, that I cherish its essence as constant reminder of her presence in my life.
Thank you for your posting and reminder of how small items can bring precious memories.
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Thank you for sharing this incredible story of connection, Lori. What an amazing and beautiful testament, and wearable tribute, to your bond.