I did not “lose” my sister. She died. I am deprived of her corporeal existence because she died. She could only be lost to me if I lived what remains of my life without the regular acknowledgement of hers. And of her death.
If I utter this ingrained expression, you will hear me correct myself immediately. What we say about death (and grief) is that powerful. Words can change everything.
A Map of Mourning 
I could not agree more. What is said, is so important. I did not “lose” my dad. My dad died in 1991 of lung cancer. But he is still here. He is in my heart and soul. He is not lost. His life was meaningful. He now has a legacy of 5 grandchildren. His energy and influence live on inside myself, my sister, and our children.
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Thank you for mentioning your dad’s legacy! We forget their gifts when we say someone is lost. Lost things (people) don’t leave legacies.
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